Boredom

I had to spend the day without any podcasts playing in my ears. I had simply exhausted my playlist. I cleaned the house, went out to get groceries, cooked, and washed the dishes without my headphones on. This is the first time in a long while this has happened to me. It’s a strange feeling to spend an extended period of time alone with your thoughts, with no external stimulation.

I haven’t quite figured out why I seek constant simulation in the form of video or audio. Recently, in an effort to reduce my screen time, I quit Instagram, and deleted the YouTube app from my phone. But the stats do not show any significant improvements. I still find myself staring at the phone—sometimes doomscrolling LinkedIn, I really must be desperate—and doing nothing of value. Podcasts, particularly the ones that I listen to, I could argue, aren’t doing me any harm. But I cannot seem to have a single moment of quiet reflection without reaching for the headphones to blast something in my ears. What does that say about me?

I think I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be truly bored. We’ve all forgotten. It’s not something that you would be rewarded for at work (unless you’re lucky enough to be a creative, and luckier still to be able to make a living out of it) so we’ve given it up entirely. It’s become something you would have to fight for in this world full of mind-numbing and never-ending stimulants.

I want to learn to like boredom again. I miss it.